It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
