She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
