We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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