How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Randomize
