Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize