He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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