waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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