Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
