About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
