You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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