He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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