I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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