You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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