What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
