And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
