did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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