If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
