careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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