i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The feeling are messing with the penis
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Randomize
