I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize