today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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