I will die if light touches me.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
