I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
