I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
