Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
