real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
