Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
