Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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