tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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