respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
