does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize