ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
