Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
