I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
