So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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