1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
