am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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