Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Bring me that man meat
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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