dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
