I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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