Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
