she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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