Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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