He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
