dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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