It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I think I sprained my soul last night
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
