you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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