I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
