I look better un-naked...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
