I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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