My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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