She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
