I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize