In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
