Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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