Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
im holly from the hills drunk
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
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