and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
