they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
