but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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