i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
