so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
