I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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