I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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