Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize