I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
In America we eat man semen.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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