don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize