he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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