so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
